Wellness Wednesday: Changing Patterns
Image by pikisuperstar on Freepik
In last week’s column, I talked about the brain’s desire to hang onto old habits. We want things to be different, but despite our intentions we end up back in the same old places. Anxiety prefers predictable troubles to unknown ones.
Imagine a dream in which you are clinging to the edge of a cliff. If you let go, maybe you’ll fly to a much better place. But maybe you’ll fall and crash. When faced with the big Don’t Know, we tend to tell scary stories. The plane will crash, the relationship will end with a broken heart and we’ll be alone, we won’t get the interview and will end up unemployed forever. Why take chances trying?
Parts of the story may turn out to be true. Things may not work out exactly the way we hope, especially if we have unrealistic expectations of perfection. Life is messy. But rarely do they end as badly as we imagine. Still, to protect ourselves, sometimes we can’t even begin to make the changes that might possibly lead us to happiness. We repeat the same behaviors, hoping for a different ending or preferring the miserable but predictable one.
What is it you fear that keeps you stuck? Take a look at it. Spend some time looking at ways you sabotage your own success. Question whether you are trading comfort for wellbeing. See where you are in the story-poem below.
Autobiography in 5 short chapters
By Portia Nelson
I
I walk down the street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in
I am lost… I’m helpless
It isn’t my fault
It takes forever to find a way out
II
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I pretend I don’t see it
I fall in again
I can’t believe I am in the same place
But, it isn’t my fault
It still takes a long time to get out
III
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I see it is there
I still fall in… it’s a habit
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault
I get out immediately
IV
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it
V
I walk down another street
