“Should you shield the valleys from the windstorms, you would never see the beauty of their canyons.” –Elizabeth Kubler Ross
Happiness often shows up on the ridges of trouble, given its contrast by harsh conditions; something pushing it into contrast.
Zen Buddhism speaks of life as 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows. You have to be asleep or die young to pass up the last half of that bargain. But sometimes we think of the joys as less important, as trivialities. As in “This life is serious darn business, and don’t you forget it”, or you’ll flunk the final.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: a mind-blowing Koan from Marsha Linehan, creator of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. “Whether you are walking to the 7-11, to the alter, or to the execution chamber– in that moment you are just walking.” I hated that line when I first heard it. My regular “let’s be black or let’s be white” mind heard it as the most idiotic form of denial.
Now I see its richness. Living in the present allows for a moment of peace. There is potential for joy or disaster (or banality) around every corner, and until we get to that corner, well, we’re just walking. And we might as well look around and see if there is anything of interest here, right now, where we are.
We can’t know for sure where the next checkmark will go on that list of 10,00 joys or 10,000 sorrows.
About all we have is a bit of control on what we are doing in the right now, and where we aim our focus. We can let advanced sufferings (or happiness) wait their turn.
“Let everything happen to you,” sang poet Rilke, “beauty and terror. Just keep going—no feeling is final.”
This week I found joy in new blooms in the winter-and-frost wasted garden, in watching my arthritic old lab chase a found ball, and in a weathered smile from a sad stranger. I heard a piece of music so wonderful it’s genius that brought me to tears. Beauty can do that– bring both joy and sorrow smack in our heart in one harmonic package. All of these pleasures had a foothold, somewhere, in hardship and the transient nature of our lives. Let’s be big enough containers for all that life brings us.
