Welcome back for winter term, Roadrunners! We’ve marked another circle around the sun.
The end of the old and start of a new year are often times of reflection. What went well; what didn’t? What are we hoping will be different? Our relationships, our productivity, our bodies, our habits?
About 38% of us in the US mark the New Year by making resolutions. Some students make them at the beginning of each term: “This time I won’t procrastinate/will reach out for help earlier/get better grades”.
Research shows 80-90% of these promises to self are abandoned within a few weeks.
Most of us really do want to do better when we make these goals. Why is it so hard to keep them?
New habits are hard to form. They usually require a sacrifice of something we rely on to manage anxiety: dopamine-hitting foods or other substances, skin-picking or nail-biting, avoiding hard things. Finding motivation to resist something that has in-the-moment benefits is hard. Future self wants to fit into last year’s clothes, and present self wants that amazing chocolate croissant. As we’re trying to acquire a new positive behavior, we’re giving up the cushion we used to face discomfort.
Sometimes changing means losing a piece of our identity. Can we be the life of the party if we don’t drink, the funny one if we stop being sarcastic, the always-available one if we add gym visits to our busy life?
Change takes effort. Habits usually don’t, once well-formed. If you brush your teeth regularly, you probably aren’t stopping to think about how, when or why you should do it before sticking the brush in your mouth. You just do it. Bad habits are the same way, though they may be followed by a lot of guilt and self-recrimination. They’re like a road with well-worn ruts where the tires go: easy to fall into. And it takes real effort to get and stay out of them.
Science is unclear about how long it takes to form a new habit. On average, to make it automatic—like the teeth brushing example—it’s over two months. Your mileage may vary. Here’s what can help:
1) Break it down, make it small. If your goal is a healthier diet, choose one focus: eating more green vegetables, drinking more water, avoiding sugar. If it’s improving fitness, you might pick walking ten minutes or dancing to a video every day. Even though these may seem too tiny to make a difference, making these automatic will help you reach your bigger goal. Success of meeting small steps can keep you motivated and remind you of what you want long-term, and you’re likely to make better choices in related behaviors that support it.
2) Tie it to a time or link it to a recurring event. Your aim is building consistency for the new behavior. If your goal is to be less sedentary, get up and walk or stretch every time a commercial comes on when you’re watching TV. If you’re working on improving your mood through journaling gratitude, write three things you’re grateful for each day right before you go to bed. If you want to relax more while you’re driving in town, do belly breaths at every stop light. Or link to a pre-existing habit: put your vitamins by your toothbrush, etcetera.
3) Make success simpler. Keep your gratitude journal on your nightstand to write the day’s thanks. Put a “nanny” app on your laptop that locks you out of social media/web browsing for a period of time when you are working. Keep a set of exercise clothes in the car so you can hit the gym after class or work. Keep hard to resist snacks out of sight and hard to get to. In other words, foresee and remove barriers that make it harder to develop the new habit. Add barriers that make it harder to engage in the old habit.
4) Find your motivation. Write a letter to yourself about why you want to change the behavior, being specific about the possible benefits. Remind yourself most benefits to behavior changes aren’t immediate, and things may feel awkward or undesirable at first. It’s easy to give up in the uncomfortable stage before any motivating benefits are obvious. Consider building in some predetermined short-term rewards to keep you going. Or get paradoxical: make a pact you’ll donate a few dollars to a cause you really hate for each week you break your pledge to yourself.
5) Seek support. Who will help you make the change? Ask for it: schedule progress check-ins, a reward they hold until you meet the goal, or gentle cues if you’re slipping.
6) Mark your progress! Record successes and any benefits you’re seeing from keeping your resolution, abstract or concrete. Example: if your goal is to save money for a future trip, pay attention to a feeling of accomplishment (abstract) when you repair your coat zipper instead of buying a coat, and putting the money saved into the bank (concrete).
Need more help? The Advising Center will offer a Habit-Changer workshop in Spring. Look for details on the LBCC events calendar or a bulletin board. Want help with academic goals? Talk with your advisor, or visit the Learning Center or Math Café’.
Have a great term. And if you slip, remember: every breath is a chance to begin again.
Cover image by Freepik
