The director of “The Kingsman” movie series returns with a brand new comedic spin on spy movies and is a dud in every possible way.
The movie follows Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard) who is the author of the hit spy thriller book series Argylle. After boarding a train to visit her parents she meets a strange man named Aiden (Sam Rockwell) who turns out to be a spy sent to protect her. He reveals that her books predict events that happen in the real world and she is promptly thrown into a globetrotting spy adventure.
This movie is definitely the worst movie released in 2024 and possibly one of the worst movies put out in the last couple years. It constantly drags at every point in the story. The entire plot is incredibly slow and pretty uninteresting, but especially the first act. Nothing really happens for the first 45 minutes and there’s no reason it should be as long as it is at 139 minutes. It’s clear that it’s supposed to be a spoof of spy thrillers, but tries way too hard to subvert expectations and in turn creates an absolute mess.
The story is filled with awful plot twists that create a plethora of plot holes and confusion. After the first twist drops it felt like a new one came around every 10 to 15 minutes. None of them are even good twists either. You will guess every single one of them far before they are revealed. The titular “Who’s the real Agent Argylle?” twist is so heavily choreographed to the point that you are almost guaranteed to guess it within the first 10 minutes.
The performances are some of the most wasteful I’ve seen since last year’s “Rebel Moon”. Large poster figures like Henry Cavill, John Cena, and Dua Lipa are completely wasted. Dua Lipa is a major figurehead in the marketing and on the poster and has maybe two minutes of screen time and the same goes for Henry Cavill and John Cena only not as severe. Even with these wasted casting choices the chemistry between Bryce Dallas Howard and Sam Rockwell is one of the two positives in the movie.
The fight scenes are also incredibly plain save for two near the end of the movie. They are all your typical gunfight or fistfight with all the creativity of “The Kingsman” movie series seemingly going out the window. One fight near the end is a hallway dance fight which is the other of the two positives for this movie. It was fun, funny, and if the entire movie had the tone of the dance fight it would have been a lot better. The other of the two creative fight scenes is Bryce Dallas Howard ice skating on oil and is held back by atrocious CGI that subtracts from the fun factor it should have.
The final scene, with zero surprise, has another twist and creates even more questions and plot holes than there already were. Of course the movie ends with a post credit scene that has yet another twist so mind numbingly misplanned that it will make you stop trying to rationalize anything you just watched.
After a few hits with the “Kingsman” movies it seems that Mathew Vaughn has lost his way. With plot holes galore, wasted actors and actresses, and an ending not worth watching this is the worst movie released so far this year.
Directed by Matthew Vaughn
Starring: Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Henry Cavill, Bryan Cranston, Catherine O’Hara, Sofia Boutella, Dua Lipa, Ariana DeBose, John Cena, Samuel L. Jackson, Richard E. Grant, Chip
Rated PG-13
Runtime: 139 minutes
My Rating: ★
