By Emily Kinkade Illustration by Kailyn Mcquisten
College. The faraway land we used to casually dismiss in middle school. Portrayed as something insanely vigorous, intimidating, intense, and purely for adults. Movies didn’t help either; one minute they showed the friend-filled college community and endless parties, the next they showed sleepless nights of studying and messy piles of books.
Growing up, college always felt larger than life. Teachers made it sound like the boogeyman heading our way. Movies either romanticized it into a nonstop party or dramatized it into a soul-crushing grind. In reality? It’s challenging, sure, but not untouchable, even for high schoolers.
I remember thinking whenever I heard people talk about college or saw it in movies, “Oh, I have time!”
I did not have time.
Okay, maybe that’s a bit dramatic, but still. At the fresh age of fourteen, I enrolled at Linn-Benton Community College through my charter school. My thought process? Why not? I had nothing to lose, right? It was an amazing opportunity. I could knock out two birds with one stone by earning my high school diploma and my associate’s degree at the same time. I figured I’d just get a move on in life.
I kept that exact attitude until, quite precisely, the day before classes started. Suddenly, reality hit. I wasn’t excited anymore; I was terrified. I’m not usually an anxious person, but all I could think about was (1) how queasy I felt, and (2) how unprepared I was.
Honestly, it felt like the end of my fun. I thought I couldn’t goof around anymore or be a kid, that I had to suddenly be serious and disciplined, which I was not ready for. My perception of college was completely skewed. Watching my older siblings slog through studying and lectures made it look miserable.
“I’m going to turn around right now, unenroll, and no one will ever know,” I told myself as I walked to my first class. Spoiler: I did not turn around. I walked in fifteen minutes early (really the last time I was ever that early) and sat in the front row (also the last time that happened).
And just like that, I experienced my first college class at fifteen, and the world, in fact, did not end.
I stayed the whole class, signed up for another term, then another. Rinse and repeat until now.
Looking back, college did feel incredibly daunting at first – and during plenty of moments after that too -but it taught me something unexpected. It’s not nearly as scary as it seems. Once I got over that first wave of nerves, I realized that professors are people that actually care about students succeeding, and most classmates are just trying to figure things out like I am. The workload can be tough, but it’s manageable, and the independence is actually freeing.
Dual enrolling has turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. It’s helped me grow in confidence, get ahead academically, and learn how to balance responsibilities early on. I’ve met people of all ages, learned how to ask questions, and figured out that it’s okay not to know everything right away.
Looking back, college definitely felt like the monster under the bed. Huge, shadowy, and way too close for comfort. But after that first class, I realized it wasn’t a monster at all. It was just… college. The same place I used to think was larger than life turned out to be perfectly human-sized, and honestly? Pretty fun once you stop running from it.