Wellness Wednesday: Noticing

The wellness topic of the day is paying attention. Look. Notice. Reflect. Decide.

As one of my side jobs, I coach. Not in sports, more in life, with life goals. What do you want to achieve? What’s in your way? If you dedicated the next 40 hour week without interruption to seriously working toward this goal, what would you do? Who else has reached this goal? How?  What indicators point to success? What is your self-rating of where you are now? (“4” you say?) What would it take to get to a “6”?

Noticing, tracking and taking notes are part of the path to success.

In my coach role, I spend a lot of time listening. The premise is that people have the answers inside, and they can benefit from a thinking partner to tease out the essentials and help create the path forward. In the business world, it can be pretty straightforward of wanting to achieve a certain number of sales or getting a specific promotion or title. Then there are the goals of “I want to be successful in my new job”. This is a bit more nebulous because it has to be broken down into more specific questions; What does that look like for you? How would you measure that? If you achieved this goal, what would you do that others would notice you are “successful”?  

Noticing. “If you want to achieve _____________.  What do others do that looks like _____________?   If you had ___________, what would others see?” And always, “what’s in your way?”  

In coaching, I’m often listening for patterns. What is the language used, what are the common interactions. When we have doubts about our ability to perform, we are likely to ask for reassurance.  

Examples:

Doubtful start: “Here’s my idea. How does that sound to you?”

More powerful question: “Here’s my idea. What do you think would add to that?” 

Doubtful start: “After thinking about how to manage this, I’m going to do this. Do you think that will work”?

More powerful option: “After thinking about what to do about this issue, I’m going to try this.”  

Don’t do doubt out loud. It does not add value, and it leads to questioning yourself.

Our language is important. Try to say less. Notice when you add phrases or words that undermine or question your abilities. Listen to when others speak, and when they add a question to a statement. Is this useful? Needed? Adding value? 

Do you agree?  What do you think about noticing?  (See?  Looking for affirmation…)

Image by storyset on Freepik