In relationships, the order of events from the first kiss to the first time you say “I love you” occurs at different rates. However, every relationship eventually faces the transition from his things, my things to “our” things. You would assume that finding a place you both can afford and comfortably live in for a duration is the hardest part, but the truth is what happens after the boxes are unpacked is much more difficult.
U-Haul Moving Truck by NetMonkey. Click to view source and license.
As some couples can already attest to, the first few months of living with your significant other are the greatest and most challenging times during your relationship. There is a lot of strain placed on your relationship and your sanity. Your patience is tested when you are forced to see how the other person behaves when their guard is down and you see them in their natural environment.
In the beginning of the relationship, every one is on their best behavior. No rude manners, disconcerting comments and every thing are organized down to their linen closets. The great moments come when you are able to truly enjoy the other person when you are able to be with them longer and in more intimate moments, however, with that said, no one wants to see someone leave the bathroom door open or wax their mustache.
So, how do you make the most out of living together, without feeling the need to rehearse your 911 call?
Be honest. There is no reason you shouldn’t be upfront with what you want and do not want. Take for example, some couples benefit from discussing their personal needs, such as having quiet time after you get home from work to unwind and relax. Having 30 minutes of silence when you walk through your front door may seem like a simple request, but can make a huge difference. Not to mention, sometimes when your needs are met, you find you do not need them anymore.
Be open… but not too open. Taking the extra time and energy to do some minimal like shutting a door is essential to every relationship. Keeping romance in your relationship can be challenging at times, but is an underappreciated integral part to having a lasting and successful relationship.
Be realistic. No relationship will be without it’s peaks and valleys, but whenever you choose to take that big step, it is important to be prepared for moments when you will need to go to your separate corners. Have a place in your home, where you can relax.
Boundaries. Living together means you will be sharing much more than house keys, but it’s important to respect the other person’s belongings and needs. Contrary to the popular saying, not everything that is yours is theirs as well. You should treat each other’s items as if they were yours, with courtesy.
Sometimes with the blending of belongings, couples may feel they are blending their identities as well. Allowing some space and respecting each other’s needs is important when it comes to maintaining some independence and easing the tricky transition. Bulldozing your partner, whether it is with decorating or decision making, you are not truly making room for them in your life.