DearConscience feature

Dear Conscience: My girlfriend told me not to get her something for Valentine’s and I didn’t, now what should I do?

My girlfriend told me not to get her something for Valentine’s and I didn’t, now what should I do?
Shoulder Devil: Jill Mahler Shoulder Angel: Jennifer M. Hartsock
Watching the struggling balance
between men and women
heighten around Valentine’s is
almost as entertaining as watching
“big boned” people struggle past
Krispy Kreme on their way to Weight
Watchers.Women issue the standard of “you
don’t have to get me anything,” and
men believe them! What they don’t
see coming is the freight train when
long and behold, Valentine’s comes
and they have nothing to give to their
lady.

I realize I am no stranger to false
perception and a few stretches of the
truth occasionally, but come on – does
no one have a clue? Manipulation
and coded messages are a woman’s
specialty – my favorite creatures. All’s
well that ends in demise, I suppose.

So what is a man to do when his
woman begins her crazy Valentine’s
ritual dance?

The answer is simple, either leave
her for a nice and simple Amish girl
or … lie.

Tell her she should be ashamed
of herself for doubting your love
and devotion. You wanted her to be
surprised by giving her the present on
a day she wouldn’t expect.

Maybe tell her you wanted to
extend the Valentine’s feeling to last
more than once a year. Then fly to the
nearest mall and get her something
nice, and it better be shiny.

Delusion and mutual dishonesty
are what relationships are all about.

For example, you pretend to like her
mother and ignore her cellulite, and
she pretends you are the best she has
ever had.

Trust me on this. I would never
steer you wrong.

The awkward struggle between
men and women anytime of
the year dampens my spirit. The two
most important aspects of a good
relationship are love and respect, but
honesty and consideration are two
necessities, as well.When a woman claims that
she doesn’t want anything for
Valentine’s Day, what is expected of
the boyfriend, fiancée, or husband?
On the surface, she really doesn’t
want anything, but is this truly what
she wants? If they’re two different
things, then perhaps she’s testing
your thoughtfulness to do something
nice for her without expectations. It’s
easier when you have some guidelines
or insight into what she’d like, but it
means more when you come up with
the idea on your own. It’s Valentine’s
Day after all, a holiday that’s almost
as important as your anniversary —
it is always thoughtful to do a little
something special.

Okay, so we now know that most
people (not just women) enjoy
consideration, but the problem is that
people cannot read your mind. If you
have expectations for him (like doing
something thoughtful for you despite
telling him you don’t want anything),
then just tell the poor guy. The whole,
“If you truly love me you’d know
what I actually want,” is unfair. Sure,
you’ve known each other for years,
and you expect him to know how to
read between your lines — but this is
a load of crap.

Confrontation, disappointment,
and a slew of other unfortunate
emotions, often arise from a
miscommunication of some sort.
It would be wise to try to eliminate
them as much as possible. It tends
to lead to a happier and healthier
relationship.

Got Questions? We got answers.
We will be offering advice on ANY topic from two different points of view.
Send your questions to: commuter@linnbenton.edu

By Shoulder Angel & Shoulder Devil

Got questions? We got answers. Dear Conscience is a humorous advice column, and the Commuter's very own Shoulder Angel and Devil will offer advice on ANY topic. Send your questions to Commuter@LinnBenton.edu!

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