dear conscience

Dear Conscience: Campus Participation

Do people actually send in these questions, or do you just make them up every week?
Shoulder Devil: Ashley Christie Shoulder Angel: Justin Bolger
Could we just make up all these questions week after week?

Um … yeah.

And do you know why?

Because all of your lives are so perfect you don’t need our advice. Your lives are all happy-happy-joy-joy, with kittens and rainbows and unicorns. It makes me sick.

Do you know who gives good advice? Me. I’m awesome at it. Angel Boy over there ain’t bad either if you’re looking for that “shucks, gee, golly” sweet and wholesome garbage.

I know you all have problems because the world sucks. But, instead of taking two minutes to send us an email, or just stopping by our  office (which you probably walk by ten times a day), you would rather ask two random strangers for advice.  Which means you then go about the rest of your day complaining to everyone else about your crappy life and how no one understands you.

That leaves us to invent our own self-serving questions, like this one.

Seriously, we’ll answer any question you have. ANY question. From the appeal of Justin Bieber to wardrobe choices to relationship quandaries, no topic is off limits. And I, at least, will give you an honest and straight-forward answer.

Maybe that’s the problem. Am I too real for you? You’re scared of what the big bad devil’s going to say?

Well, too bad!

It’s called tough love. I don’t sugarcoat, and neither does the rest of the world. (With the exception of my angelic friend next door.)

It’s time to nut up people.

Nope! We make ‘em up!

I’m an honest little angel, of course, so I won’t beat around the bush. It would be absolutely fantastic if we could give advice on some real questions from our readers, but we need your help to do that!

As much as I love writing about clichéd dilemmas, stuff that relates to other articles, and, you know, Justin Beiber, I’d much rather see some good old-fashioned audience participation! It’s a pretty simple process:

  1. Observe a moral quarrel (or anything debatable) in either your life, or one of your friends’.
  2. Sum up the situation and the question in just a sentence or three.
  3. Email it to us at commuter@linnbenton.edu with the subject “Dear Conscience.”

How cool would it be to see the Shoulder Devil and me chat about your life? It’s tempting, I know. What about this: How heart-warming would it be to see your torn-up friend restored to full happiness because of our advice on their situation? It would be a wonderfully touching event that you made happen – give yourself a pat on the back!

Honestly, other people may have problems similar to your own, but some of them are just too darn bashful to ask someone else for advice. You can let others learn from your (anonymous) requests for aid!

You could be helping your friend AND the whole campus community! Gee, how inspiring is that?

By Shoulder Angel & Shoulder Devil

Got questions? We got answers. Dear Conscience is a humorous advice column, and the Commuter's very own Shoulder Angel and Devil will offer advice on ANY topic. Send your questions to Commuter@LinnBenton.edu!

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